The Benefits and Challenges of (Reasonably) Risky Play

(Reasonably) risky play is thrilling and exciting and incredibly important for kids. So why aren't kids getting enough of it these days? Well, the main answer is US - we're often the ones holding kids back from engaging in risky play. Let's be honest - it can be SO hard to watch those little people we love so dearly do something that might cause hurt. So. Very. Hard.  

But, it's so important too. In fact, RISKY PLAY IS HOW CHILDREN LEARN TO KEEP THEMSELVES SAFE. 

When they jump off of a swing and scrape their leg, they learn not to do it again…or at least not to do it from so high up. But when we tell them not to jump without first letting them try, we’re either setting ourselves up for a power struggle or sending the message that we don’t think they can handle it. And over time all those little messages add up. And all those missed opportunities to learn from their mistakes add up too. And they result in less confident kids, who also can’t jump safely off a swing.

Through risky play children learn balance (yes, you might fall off the tree stump and get your shoes muddy) and coordination (how do I get all the way to the top of the structure). They also learn what their little bodies can handle. Sometimes the only way to figure out whether you can climb all the way to the top is to give it a try. 

They learn how to assess and judge situations ahead of time (hmm…what might happen if we cartwheel too close together) and whether or not something is a good idea (that hill is way too steep for me). And possibly most important of all, through risky play children grow their sense of independence and feelings of confidence in themselves and their abilities. Children discover they can manage their own fears and overcome them too.

Studies have even shown that preventing risky play backfires -  not only do our children miss valuable opportunities to learn to keep themselves safe, but they become more scared of doing things in the future. It’s not the kid who climbed a tree and fell who's more likely to grow up scared of climbing trees…rather, it’s the kid who never tried.

So even though every parenting/teacherly instinct in me is dying to shout "BE CAREFUL!!" as kids run too fast or swing too high or pull too hard, I will do my best to resist the urge...at least as much as possible.

Let’s all work together to bite our tongues and give kids the space they deserve to figure things out for themselves.

In the end, it will keep them a lot safer!